Life is happening NOW

There are some days when you wake up in the morning and you feel like you're ready to take on the world, to do something different, to stand in front of the mirror and smile until your face hurts. I woke up like this today.

The best part of when this happens is that there is no specific reason behind this emotion. You feel alive and genuinely happy and content with EVERYTHING. Accepting the little things and the big things in your everyday life, realising that you're a magnificent and amazing human being. Understanding that you are so ridiculously lucky to be alive, to be part of this fantastic experience called Life. Appreciating all the events that are happening to you. Feeling grateful for being able to breathe, to see the colours around you, to stand on your own feet, to hear your friends and family talking to you. Sometimes you need to stop and realise that all the things that you take for granted might seem like a massive gift to others or even an impossible dream to have.

So I challenge you my friend: take a few moments and count your blessings. What do you have that money can't buy? Because it is the cliche as it is: happiness does NOT come from the things you buy, it is simply enjoying what you already have: your physical and emotional abilities, the wonderful people around you and the yet unknown opportunities that lie in front of you. Be present and love your life the way it is. Let go of your past. Everything else will unfold and fall into its place, I promise. 

Delete the what?

Delete. Type. Delete, delete, delete. Start again. I have something very important to tell you, yet it doesn’t want to become a form of words. It burns my soul with its white fire and tightens my throat when I’m attempting to say it out loud. A heavy exhale. Yes that helps temporarily, let me do it again. Dizziness kicks in; well at least my physical symptoms are now in line with my emotional ones. Start typing again. My fingertips are hitting the keyboard at such a rapid speed that my skin is burning up. Sloooow down, this is not making sense. Delete, delete.
New paragraph. Organise the tornado of thoughts. I need to understand where to start and why do I want to start. Do I want to start? Stop confusing yourself even more, no questions. Just type. Two more sentences are formed, let me read them back. Doesn’t this sound miserable? Was that another question?! Hush now consciousness, this truth inside my soul needs to be born. It needs to be shared with you but firstly I need to admit it to myself and stop running away from it. This is not a rabies ridden dog trying to bite my arm off but this is…delete, delete.

The realisation hits so hard on my chest that I struggle to breathe for a few seconds. I do not know what it is that I must tell myself. It all remains the playhouse of Confusion.

Power of the written words

Words. Letters. Some strange lines scribbled on paper. Or they are flickering back from the screen of your electrical device. Thought processes materialised into the physical world. Touch it - you can't feel it.

Why would you feel the written words? You see them, yes. But how can you create something that when you touch you don't feel it? Although when you read them back, the whirlpool of emotions will start stirring. Can we really put our feelings into the forms of letters and dots and question marks? When you read my letter-chain, does the same feeling kick you in the stomach as the one I had to fight off? I don't think so.
I feel. I think. I write.
You read. You think. You smile.

Snippets of the past II

It's time to let go (07/2011)

Sometimes you arrive to a crossroad and you realise the best way to go is straight ahead. There's no point taking a shortcut or follow a sidewalk, you need to keep walking. You can look back and think about the memories your journey has already brought you but you can't turn around and go back in time. Behind you is your past, something that helped to lay the foundation to become the person you are now. You must not regret any minute of it or think what would have happened if... There is no if. This is it, wake up!


Take a look around you; who's standing by your side? The true, beautiful people who always walked with you side by side and not ahead of you, the ones who struggled through with you on the rocky road up the hill and didn't grab you to make their journey easier by bringing you down. These people are rare, they will last until you take your last breath, they are there to make your pain less hurtful, to make your happiness more intense, to understand you without saying a word. 

And then you look back. What's there behind you so far away? A few more people, sitting by a milestone looking at a different direction. Your journeys have parted and it's time to realise and accept that - no matter how confusing, upsetting or disappointing it may feel. Forget the bad and remember the good. Always think of them with a smile in your heart but it's now time to let them go to find their own path... you might meet them again at another crossroad and if you don't then be proud that you shared a few steps with them.

Camouflaged souls

Wearing different masks can be exhausting. You get confused which one you need to put on or you get so used to some of them that you forget to take them off. People around you do not love you; they love your choice of cover-up. That’s what they see and that’s what they remember when thinking of you. It’s like when you get a wrapped up present and you’re not allowed to open it. You love the wrapping paper, the shininess of the ribbons, the shape of the gift. You don’t know what it’s hiding inside, yet you are so happy with what you see. Take in the falsified information and enjoy the illusion.

And there comes a time when you put on the wrong mask or forget to wear one. Confusion. Demolition. Realisation. They catch a glimpse of your true self and learn that all their beliefs have been a daydream, a
fantasy. You can’t erase the damage, the frustration. 

Why can’t you accept who you really are behind that entire masquerade? Just be yourself and show your true face. Be brave enough to show the world all you've got without the disguise. 

Twenty - four

We travel through our lives every day. Some of us get on a delayed train, some get stuck at a red light in our cars and some just sit on the sofa and flick through all the international channels while staring at the shiny illusion on the wall – you might call it the TV. We seem to have forgotten how to sit still and take pleasure of it. Not out of boredom, not because we’ve been told to do it but purely because we desire it. We spend hours chasing after routines, giving in to habits and choosing the easy option of following the crowd. 

 Then we spend about a third of our day earning money so that we can buy all the things that we don’t need but must possess. Things that we firmly believe will make us feel happy. And in fact they do have that effect on us for a few minutes, hours or dependant on the purchase maybe days. Never years though. We never get the same excitement as ripping the packaging open. So we go and get our things and then carry on with our routine. And when the end of the day arrives we take a look back and say something like “such a busy day” or “I still have to do this tomorrow”.

Those 24 hours are nothing but a sample sized life. Make yours exciting.